Hope you found a pot of gold this St. Patrick's Day!
THRIVING DESPITE US - An adoptive, biological, frazzled, honest mom speaks.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Wordless Wednesday - Oh Yes I Did!
Yup. I dyed my poor little pooch green for St. Patrick's day and what fun reactions we received...it's like no one has ever seen a green dog before!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Multicultural Monday....Universoul Circus
A few weeks ago we took the kids to the Universoul Circus. This has been an annual tradition for the past 5 years.
Universoul rocks….literally. Loud, bumping music, a kids dance contest on stage, lots of folks dancing in the aisles, a beach ball toss…and all that happens between the international performers which include circus staples like contortionists, tiger tamers and elephants . This interactive show, with the ringmaster’s refrain, “I say Big Top, you say Circus…BIIIIIGGG TOOOOP,” is sure to be a hit.
Why do we go to every year?
Universoul is predominantly black. The vast majority of the audience is African American and almost all of the performers are people of color. It is odd to think of a circus as a cultural experience but this circus is most definitely cultural and an experience. It is amazing and extremely entertaining. I still haven’t recovered from the Bone Breakers who I think were from West Africa. These guys were clearly made of rubber and could move their bodies in ways that are just wrong. – Don’t believe me? Check out this YouTube video I found of them. It’s a little scary to watch and like a train wreck, impossible to turn away.
What I really like about the Universoul is that it is one of those times that the roles are reversed in my family. My husband, daughters and I are most definitely in the minority in the audience and my boys are in the majority. I think it is good for the kids to see that Jeff and I are comfortable when we are in the minority and I also like that we purposely find times and places to go where they can be in the majority.
The first year we went I was worried people would say things to us or not accept our family but that has never happened. Our family has always been well received. Even the first year we went when 6 year old Elyse exclaimed, “Mommy, this is a black people place. I want to go home!” The folks around us chuckled as I turned numerous shades of purple.
We have always talked to, joked with and pathetically tried to dance along with the people sitting around us. And they have always received us warmly, even when we bring our racially insensitive first grader and her two black brothers.
Really, I have not been asked by Universoul to write a review. I just love this circus. I love the show itself because it’s so much fun. I love the experience for my family so much that I take them every year. I love the whole thing so much that I am compelled to share it with others. This is one of those experiences that make me thankful I have opened my family up to another culture. I doubt that we would have ever known about the Universoul Circus if we didn’t have our sons and that truly would have been our loss.
You can link here to find out if it’s coming near you anytime soon. and if it is, buy your tickets, no matter the racial make up of your family. This circus is sure to be a hit. And if your kids complain about going, twist their arms like the Bone Breakers do…they’ll stop complaining ASAP.
Universoul rocks….literally. Loud, bumping music, a kids dance contest on stage, lots of folks dancing in the aisles, a beach ball toss…and all that happens between the international performers which include circus staples like contortionists, tiger tamers and elephants . This interactive show, with the ringmaster’s refrain, “I say Big Top, you say Circus…BIIIIIGGG TOOOOP,” is sure to be a hit.
Why do we go to every year?
Universoul is predominantly black. The vast majority of the audience is African American and almost all of the performers are people of color. It is odd to think of a circus as a cultural experience but this circus is most definitely cultural and an experience. It is amazing and extremely entertaining. I still haven’t recovered from the Bone Breakers who I think were from West Africa. These guys were clearly made of rubber and could move their bodies in ways that are just wrong. – Don’t believe me? Check out this YouTube video I found of them. It’s a little scary to watch and like a train wreck, impossible to turn away.
What I really like about the Universoul is that it is one of those times that the roles are reversed in my family. My husband, daughters and I are most definitely in the minority in the audience and my boys are in the majority. I think it is good for the kids to see that Jeff and I are comfortable when we are in the minority and I also like that we purposely find times and places to go where they can be in the majority.
The first year we went I was worried people would say things to us or not accept our family but that has never happened. Our family has always been well received. Even the first year we went when 6 year old Elyse exclaimed, “Mommy, this is a black people place. I want to go home!” The folks around us chuckled as I turned numerous shades of purple.
We have always talked to, joked with and pathetically tried to dance along with the people sitting around us. And they have always received us warmly, even when we bring our racially insensitive first grader and her two black brothers.
Really, I have not been asked by Universoul to write a review. I just love this circus. I love the show itself because it’s so much fun. I love the experience for my family so much that I take them every year. I love the whole thing so much that I am compelled to share it with others. This is one of those experiences that make me thankful I have opened my family up to another culture. I doubt that we would have ever known about the Universoul Circus if we didn’t have our sons and that truly would have been our loss.
You can link here to find out if it’s coming near you anytime soon. and if it is, buy your tickets, no matter the racial make up of your family. This circus is sure to be a hit. And if your kids complain about going, twist their arms like the Bone Breakers do…they’ll stop complaining ASAP.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Where Have I Been?
It has been difficult for me to write lately. Softball season has started again, Will is giving LAX a try and James is still a Tae Kwon Do phenom. This translates to me taking someone or numerous someones to one practice or another every afternoon/evening.
On top of that I had PRK lasik surgery a little over a week ago and my vision has been blurry making using the computer difficult. I actually enjoyed my computer moratorium and found I had a lot more time on my hands. I still did my attorney work on the computer (Not to worry, Diana) but after I worked I gave my eyes a much needed computer break and you know what I learned? I spend an inordinate amount of time daily checking email and generally putzing around online.
Without my online adventures, you may think that I was bored. Miraculously, I was not bored for even a second. Thanks to my good friend and neighbor Elizabeth, I was introduced to extreme couponing and you know what? It’s addictive. I went to the grocery store everyday last week just to see how much money I could save. By combining buy one get one offers with manufacturers and store coupons, I was able to get pasta for $.23 a box, crystal light for $.75 cents a container and the coup d'etat was when I got some new fangled breakfast bar for free. That’s right, I paid not a penny for it. Elizabeth was able to make a few deals work where the store actually paid her to shop….go figure!
With a big family, saving money is great and I love the challenge of seeing just how little I can pay for groceries. The problem is I have hoarder tendencies. We may soon find our pantry full of items we don’t use but that I got for practically nothing. Currently, there are 8 tubs of Smart Balance margarine in the freezer. Who could resist it at $.30/tub? Granted, we will not need to purchase margarine for the rest of 2012, and probably are good for most of 2013 and that is not necessarily a bad thing. However, I need to be careful. I shouldn’t buy more margarine even if I could get it for $.20/cents a tub. There is just no more room in the freezer… but $.20/cents a tub?….how could I pass that up? You see where this is headed, right?
There are issues beyond just storage. Couponing could quickly become a full time job. (Diana, prepare yourself, I may have to quit just so I have enough time to figure out all the deals). I am not yet ready to give up couponing but I do need to regroup and focus on purchasing only things we actually use. If I do find myself with an offer I can’t refuse, I will just turn around and donate it to a local food pantry. If I can get a amazing deal AND help others, boooyah!….it doesn’t get much better than that!
The Sunday paper just arrived so I have to go now….there are coupons to clip and deals to be had. If I have some free time I may blog again soon about something relating to parenting, adoption or multiculturalism…or I may just tell you how to get a tub of margarine for $.20.
On top of that I had PRK lasik surgery a little over a week ago and my vision has been blurry making using the computer difficult. I actually enjoyed my computer moratorium and found I had a lot more time on my hands. I still did my attorney work on the computer (Not to worry, Diana) but after I worked I gave my eyes a much needed computer break and you know what I learned? I spend an inordinate amount of time daily checking email and generally putzing around online.
Without my online adventures, you may think that I was bored. Miraculously, I was not bored for even a second. Thanks to my good friend and neighbor Elizabeth, I was introduced to extreme couponing and you know what? It’s addictive. I went to the grocery store everyday last week just to see how much money I could save. By combining buy one get one offers with manufacturers and store coupons, I was able to get pasta for $.23 a box, crystal light for $.75 cents a container and the coup d'etat was when I got some new fangled breakfast bar for free. That’s right, I paid not a penny for it. Elizabeth was able to make a few deals work where the store actually paid her to shop….go figure!
With a big family, saving money is great and I love the challenge of seeing just how little I can pay for groceries. The problem is I have hoarder tendencies. We may soon find our pantry full of items we don’t use but that I got for practically nothing. Currently, there are 8 tubs of Smart Balance margarine in the freezer. Who could resist it at $.30/tub? Granted, we will not need to purchase margarine for the rest of 2012, and probably are good for most of 2013 and that is not necessarily a bad thing. However, I need to be careful. I shouldn’t buy more margarine even if I could get it for $.20/cents a tub. There is just no more room in the freezer… but $.20/cents a tub?….how could I pass that up? You see where this is headed, right?
There are issues beyond just storage. Couponing could quickly become a full time job. (Diana, prepare yourself, I may have to quit just so I have enough time to figure out all the deals). I am not yet ready to give up couponing but I do need to regroup and focus on purchasing only things we actually use. If I do find myself with an offer I can’t refuse, I will just turn around and donate it to a local food pantry. If I can get a amazing deal AND help others, boooyah!….it doesn’t get much better than that!
The Sunday paper just arrived so I have to go now….there are coupons to clip and deals to be had. If I have some free time I may blog again soon about something relating to parenting, adoption or multiculturalism…or I may just tell you how to get a tub of margarine for $.20.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Dinosauradocious I Am Not!
This morning James told me that he made up a word for a good mom – a dinosauradocious. If you know James you know this actually makes sense as he is obsessed with dinos, He knows all of their names and can even correctly pronounce them. Making up a dinosaur style name is possibly the best type of compliment James can dole out. He then continued, “You are NOT a dinosauradocious.”
What a nice way to start the day; a proclamation by your 8 year old that you are not a good mom. Sort of makes it all worth it, don’t cha think?
I was surprised with how much it stung. I help up my hand and told him to go eat his breakfast, ignoring his insult and pretending it didn’t bother me. Ha! We all know it did bother me...it bothered me alot!
I know I am not perfect. I don’t even pretend to be perfect. At this point, I don’t even attempt to be perfect. But I don’t think you have to be a perfect mom to be a good mom. Actually, any mom that comes off as “perfect” seems a little creepy and Stepford wife-ish to me. Definitely, not the sort of mom I esteem to be. But seriously, how hard could it be to live up to the dinosauradocious label?
I love my kids with all my heart and I tell them that I love them all the time, doesn’t that make me dinosauradocious?
I give James snuggles every night before bed, even though I’d much rather be watching Big Bang Theory re-runs, doesn’t that make me dinosauradocious?
I bought James a Happy Napper to bribe him into staying in his own bed all night, doesn’t that make me dinosauradocious?
I buy special treats for lunches, show up for almost all school events, and drive to kingdom come and back daily getting 4 kids to all of their extracurricular activities, doesn’t that make me dinosauradocious?
Apparently none of that makes me dinosauradocious to James!
I wondered what I would have to do to be dinosauradocious in James’ big brown eyes? Would James think his birthmother is dinosauradocious? Would she be more able to meet his needs in a way that made him feel more whole? Perhaps he feels empty, or abandoned or unlovable. I don’t want to admit that I felt a twinge of jealousy. She has a primal connection with him that I can never have and maybe he is feeling that loss. I should find him a therapist. Adoption issues are clearly bubbling up. There may be a whole lot more to this dinosauradocious thing than meets the eye.
So, I asked him, “James, what does a mom have to do to be dinosauradocious?” I braced myself for the deep conversation we were about to have about birth parents and adoption and what it all means.
“Oh, that’s easy” he happily replied, “Dinosauradociouses take their baby dinos out to dinner every night to McDonalds and Subway and they take them shopping to buy toys, lots and lots of toys.”
Ahhh, James is right. I am definitely NOT dinosauradocious and will never be! Poor, poor James.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Mommy Do's....and Don'ts
Back in the day, Glamour magazine used to feature Fashion Do’s and Fashion Don’ts. Since I barely have time to brush my teeth these days, I no longer kick back with a Frappacino and flip through a Glamour magazine while waiting for my newly manicured nails to dry. So, I don’t know if they still have this feature. I do remember more often than not falling into the Fashion Don’t category (and according to my friend Jennifer I still do, since I have fallen in love with old lady velour sweatpants and wear them everywhere these days. I am unapologetic about that by the way - they are so comfortable…..)
It occurred to me that just as there are Fashion Do’s and Don’ts; there are Mommy Do’s and Don’ts. I often have Mommy Do moments…those proud parenting moments where you should win the Dr. Spock parenting award. But, more often, I probably have Mommy Don’t moments…those embarrassing parenting moments that you know are going to be the subject of one of what will be many future therapy sessions your adult child will be attending (either voluntarily or court ordered).
I thought I’d share some of my Mommy Dos and Don’ts from the past week:
Mommy Dos:
1. Each child received a Shutterfly album on Valentine’s Day which chronicled their 2011 (in a way this was a Mommy Don’t because it was originally going to be a Christmas present but at least they got it before we rang in 2013!). This has become a yearly tradition where each child has their own chronicle of the past year. These hard back photo albums will be with the kids for years.
2. I attended James’ science fair and appropriately oooooood and ahhhhhhd without embarrassing him too dramatically.
3. I went to Will’s LAX game to watch in the freezing cold, rainy weather while I was fighting a losing battle with the flu. I spent most of my time in the car watching, but I was there and had a great view of the field while I was hallucinating.
4. I let Rosie help make lemon squares even though it meant I was going to spend the following 1/2 hour picking eggshells out of the mix. She was ecstatic at helping me and proud of the final product, as crunchy as they were.
5. I stopped watching the violent and creepy crime shows on the ID network when my kids are at home. This has been on my list of lifestyle changes for a few weeks. I love the narrator’s voices on the shows on this new-to-me network, but the gory crimes they detail are not good for children!
I had a Mommy So/So:
1. I made the kids my traditional red dinner for Valentine’s Day – Pasta with Red Sauce, Red Jello and cookies with pink frosting and red sprinkles. I made them a fun Valentine’s Day meal (Do) but did not stick around to eat with them (Don’t). Instead went on a much needed date with my husband for Valentine’s Day. The Date was a good time for Jeff and I to reconnect (definitely a Wife Do – but that is another post…). All told Valentine’s Day was a Mommy So-So.
Mommy Don’ts:
1. I let Elyse do most of James Science Fair poster. He did the experiment and recorded his observations, but she did all the gluing on the poster board. He was just so tired and crabby and it had to be done. Elyse loves to cut and glue and be crafty and……it was just so much easier to not fight with James.
2. I drove the kids to school in my flannel hello kitty pajamas on a day when we were running very late.
3. I overslept and the shorties missed Sat morning Tae Kwon Do….Even worse: (1) they were up and full of energy while I was not, (2) Will (who rarely wakes before noon when he is left to his own accord) was up and out to his Lacrosse game at 7:40am – I did not even stir when Jeff kissed me to leave with Will and (3) I was still asleep when Jeff texted at 10:00am to provide results from Will’s game!
4. I refused to pick up an under the weather Will from school despite his constant texting to me all day about how badly he felt. It was very inconvenient for me to come and get him so I made him stick it out.
And the all time worst Mommy Don’t of the week!
5. I was informed of Rosie’s seriously infected middle finger by Elyse. Elyse was helping Rosie do her school Valentines cards when Elyse yells, “OMG, Rosie what is wrong with your finger.” I had not noticed any problem but the girl’s finger was an unnatural purple color up to her first knuckle and was oozing yellow goo! …..see...
My neighbor the PA suggested we go immediately to urgent care but it was the night of the science fair. ….
I don’t think it got significantly worse by the Pediatrician’s visit the next day. After 10 days of antibiotics and twice daily Epsom salt soakings Rosie will be just fine. Besides Rosie has been enjoying sticking up her nasty middle finger at anyone who will take a look.
How did you do this week; thumb up, thumb down or hang loose (so-so)? Any Mommy Dos and/or Donts you want to share?
It occurred to me that just as there are Fashion Do’s and Don’ts; there are Mommy Do’s and Don’ts. I often have Mommy Do moments…those proud parenting moments where you should win the Dr. Spock parenting award. But, more often, I probably have Mommy Don’t moments…those embarrassing parenting moments that you know are going to be the subject of one of what will be many future therapy sessions your adult child will be attending (either voluntarily or court ordered).
I thought I’d share some of my Mommy Dos and Don’ts from the past week:
Mommy Dos:
1. Each child received a Shutterfly album on Valentine’s Day which chronicled their 2011 (in a way this was a Mommy Don’t because it was originally going to be a Christmas present but at least they got it before we rang in 2013!). This has become a yearly tradition where each child has their own chronicle of the past year. These hard back photo albums will be with the kids for years.
2. I attended James’ science fair and appropriately oooooood and ahhhhhhd without embarrassing him too dramatically.
3. I went to Will’s LAX game to watch in the freezing cold, rainy weather while I was fighting a losing battle with the flu. I spent most of my time in the car watching, but I was there and had a great view of the field while I was hallucinating.
4. I let Rosie help make lemon squares even though it meant I was going to spend the following 1/2 hour picking eggshells out of the mix. She was ecstatic at helping me and proud of the final product, as crunchy as they were.
5. I stopped watching the violent and creepy crime shows on the ID network when my kids are at home. This has been on my list of lifestyle changes for a few weeks. I love the narrator’s voices on the shows on this new-to-me network, but the gory crimes they detail are not good for children!
I had a Mommy So/So:
1. I made the kids my traditional red dinner for Valentine’s Day – Pasta with Red Sauce, Red Jello and cookies with pink frosting and red sprinkles. I made them a fun Valentine’s Day meal (Do) but did not stick around to eat with them (Don’t). Instead went on a much needed date with my husband for Valentine’s Day. The Date was a good time for Jeff and I to reconnect (definitely a Wife Do – but that is another post…). All told Valentine’s Day was a Mommy So-So.
Mommy Don’ts:
1. I let Elyse do most of James Science Fair poster. He did the experiment and recorded his observations, but she did all the gluing on the poster board. He was just so tired and crabby and it had to be done. Elyse loves to cut and glue and be crafty and……it was just so much easier to not fight with James.
2. I drove the kids to school in my flannel hello kitty pajamas on a day when we were running very late.
3. I overslept and the shorties missed Sat morning Tae Kwon Do….Even worse: (1) they were up and full of energy while I was not, (2) Will (who rarely wakes before noon when he is left to his own accord) was up and out to his Lacrosse game at 7:40am – I did not even stir when Jeff kissed me to leave with Will and (3) I was still asleep when Jeff texted at 10:00am to provide results from Will’s game!
4. I refused to pick up an under the weather Will from school despite his constant texting to me all day about how badly he felt. It was very inconvenient for me to come and get him so I made him stick it out.
And the all time worst Mommy Don’t of the week!
5. I was informed of Rosie’s seriously infected middle finger by Elyse. Elyse was helping Rosie do her school Valentines cards when Elyse yells, “OMG, Rosie what is wrong with your finger.” I had not noticed any problem but the girl’s finger was an unnatural purple color up to her first knuckle and was oozing yellow goo! …..see...
My neighbor the PA suggested we go immediately to urgent care but it was the night of the science fair. ….
I don’t think it got significantly worse by the Pediatrician’s visit the next day. After 10 days of antibiotics and twice daily Epsom salt soakings Rosie will be just fine. Besides Rosie has been enjoying sticking up her nasty middle finger at anyone who will take a look.
How did you do this week; thumb up, thumb down or hang loose (so-so)? Any Mommy Dos and/or Donts you want to share?
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
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